current time: 10:12pm

current mood: hyper

watching: twenty five twenty one

i went grocery shopping with my mom today, it was a lot of fun. but then we forgot her phone in the shopping cart in the parking lot so we had to hurry back. but i got zesty ranch veggie straws at the store today; they're my new absolute favorite snack in the world!

it's been very chilly at night now, which i don't mind, but my fingers feel so numb, it makes it a little hard to type.

i'm waiting for the next episode of single's inferno to come out for season 3. i never thought i'd like or let alone watch a show like that, but i really enjoy it. i get it now. i do.


current time: 7:32pm

current mood: saudade

drinking: strawberres & cream dr. pepper

i straightened my hair a little bit. it's been feeling really dry again, so tomorrow i might do my coconut oil & conditioner soak. it always feels dry and uncomfortable when it gets colder out.

i keep feeling like bugs are crawling all over me, but when i go and look, i find nothing. the chickens, especially my chicken best friend Basil, had a lot of poultry lice on her. good thing they don't affect humans, but i guess that's where this feeling stemmed from.
luckily we treated them with a medicated dust bath, and it appears all of the lice have died off. it was probably very itchy for them to deal with so i'm glad they're gone.

i feel like i try to be too much of a perfectionist sometimes, but i never feel like what i do is ever good enough; i never quite hit the mark where i'm happy with things, so i'll just end up fixing it for all eternity (mostly vaguely talking about my site). i need to kind of learn to find a good stopping point and letting things just not live up to my standards. nothing is 100% perfect, after all.

i got a new fox plushie today (pictured above) at walmart to add to my fox army. it actually sounds like a fun idea to make a page dedicated to all of my fox plushies, as i have a lot. they've always been my favorite animal, more specifically red foxes!

i've been trying to learn how to quiet down my anxious thoughts, and it's been somewhat working. but i know this will be a life-long journey to deal with and not just an issue to fix. no matter how hard i try, i will only ever just be able to manage the symptoms of my mental illness. there will always be the high-highs and the low-lows.


current time: 1:15am

current mood: sleepless

listening to: Kerosene - Crystal Castles

I started the new year off by eating burritos with my sibling in the kitchen. It had fries in it, 10/10.

I'm feeling motivated. I normally don't care about new years / I don't even pay attention to it, but I feel different this time! I'm determined to start actually accomplishing more of my goals this time around. (Give it a week.)

I don't want to keep feeling like a waiting duck, waiting for a hungry hawk to take their claim.

I forgot to mention in the last entry, a couple of days ago I saw a double rainbow! I couldn't get a good picture with them both in it, but it was so beautiful.